Is superhero fatigue real?
Ballerina
My loyal followers, it is so disappointing when a film series surrenders the very thing we love about it. Some might think it is cruel to call out Ballerina in this way. Doomsayer, you cry, surely you don’t want Keanu Reeves playing John Wick until the ripe old age of ninety years old. You misunderstand me, my followers. Yes, John Wick was in no doubt successful because of Keanu Reeves, but it is not the only reason. There isn’t a shred of doubt in my mind, John Wick was successful because they gave John a simple motive. Arrogant crime boss kid kills John’s dog, and now everyone must die. Simple. Elegant. Ballerina, on the other hand, does away with this simple motive in exchange for diving deeper into the frankly, dreary background lore of the series.
Ballerina starts Eva, played by Ana de Armas, a girl whose family is killed by a mysterious gang and is adopted by the Ruska Roma organization. They train her in the art of assassination and after a few missions, she goes after the gang that killed her family despite the Ruska Roma telling her not to. The movie then plunges into the lore of the rivalry between the Ruska Roma and this mysterious gang to the point where it becomes tedious and tiresome. Part of the success of the John Wick series, came from allowing the lore behind all these crime families to hang in the background. Ballerina makes the mistake of putting it front and center to the point I rather be watching any of the four original John Wick films. The action is adequate, but doesn’t make up for scenes with long-winded dialogue that doesn’t fit in a John Wick film. The film can’t even escape Wick’s shadow, as it forces Reeves to appear in some scenes at the end. I already felt the need to get off the John Wick train after John Wick 4, and this just solidifies that feeling.
M3GAN 2.0
Dare I say, is this a moment where the trailer was actually helpful? From witnessing the trailers, I went into M3GAN 2.0 knowing it had shed its creepy doll horror aesthetic in exchange for a sci-fi action comedy. With a copycat android running around, Gemma and Cady must team up with M3gan to take down this new threat. The film completely jumps the shark, feeling more aligned with Mission Impossible than Annabelle. Frankly, I enjoyed this hard pivot of a genre shift. M3GAN 2.0 knows that it is silly and over the top, but makes it work with M3gan’s sassy, sarcastic nature. It certainly felt like the team behind M3GAN 2.0 understood the assignment a hell of a lot more than the team behind Ballerina. Do not write this one off, my loyal followers.
Superman
I’ll confess to you, my loyalest of followers, I don’t think I am experiencing superhero fatigue… I am experiencing mediocre film fatigue. So many films, I know exactly where the movie is going after twenty odd minutes. I long for something new and fresh, and I don’t think I am alone here. I think many of us in the audience want to be blown away by a new experience. The film industry has played it too safe, especially when it comes to superhero films.
So does James Gunn’s new Superman buck this trend? Sort of. I did really enjoy the return to the hopeful version of Superman, the one diving across the screen just to save a squirrel. The version that will loudly exclaim being kind to each other is the new punk rock. Leave the evil Superman to Invincible and The Boys. I also can’t help crack a smirk at certain foreign nations losing their cool at this film. The foundation in James Gunn’s MCU is solid, but I can’t help feel like this film puts the cart before the horse.
As of the last few years, my favorite DC films have been Suicide Squad (2021) and The Batman (2022). Along with great writing, acting and directing, I believe these films are not bogged down by the weight of a cinematic universe. Their stories are contained and focused. Whereas, Superman feels like it’s juggling so many plates. Not only are we dropping in on Superman, Lois Lane, and Lex Luthor, but Gunn is trying to introduce the Justice Gang too. It just feels overcrowded, and frankly reminds me of picking a comic book that’s a second or third issue of a series. I agree with Gunn, that we don’t need to see Superman as a baby crash landing on the Kent farm, but there are other scenes that I would like to see. Lois and Clark are three weeks into their relationship. I enjoyed watching them have their first fight; would have been nice to see how Clark asks her out. The film opens with Superman losing his first fight, but ironically never shows it. WHO IS THE GUY THAT LEX LUTHOR KILLS IN THE POCKET DIMENSION, AND WHY SHOULD I CARE THAT HE’S DEAD!?!?
Look, I know the Warner Brother executives are chomping at the bit to have their own Avengers: Endgame, but I cannot summon the energy to care about another cinematic universe experience. I know we are eventually going to get a Justice League movie, and I wish Gunn all the luck with that project. The thought of watching another cinematic universe, barreling head first into the massive team up at mock speeds, has me sighing like a dog bored on the couch. Superman was great when it was focused on being a Superman film, and not so great when it is a vehicle for the Gunn DC universe, or whatever we are calling this thing.
Wake me when The Batman 2 and Clayface comes out.
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986)
You’re seriously asking if Ferris Bueller’s Day Off is good? It’s great. Go watch it. Go.
In all seriousness, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off is a masterclass in character design. The writing perfectly walks the tight-rope’s edge of being charismatic yet sympathetic. Take the titular Ferris for example, he’s a wise-cracking, smooth talking hero. It would have been so easy for him to come off smug and superior, but he never does. He’s friendly and charming, and really only uses his Loki-like mischief when someone clearly wrongs him. Cameron’s another great example. He’s down in the dumps, depressed and the Eeyore to Ferris’s Tigger. I have seen a million of these characters, and they always drag the mood down. Yet, Cameron, never falls into this pit trap. Most likely due to the fact he is able to smile when Ferris’s schemes pay off. Making it that much sweeter when he’s able to raise from the funk at the end.
Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and take the time to watch a movie like this, you might just miss it.
Eddington
HEAR YE!!! HEAR YE!!! To those proclaiming Eddington will one day be a cult classic, I hope you or I never see that day. If that day is to come, then allow the meteors to strike the Earth and end civilization. I am all for films aiming to make their audience uncomfortable. Disturb the comfortable and comfort the disturbed has been my new mantra regarding art. Yet this film, has no new ideas or clever insights. It is simply your uncle, who claims to be centrist even though he exclusively votes Republican, crying at Thanksgiving dinner about how both sides botched the pandemic, simply because he wasn’t allowed to go to Chili’s.
For those who made the wise choice to skip this film and see Superman a second time, Eddington is about a feud between the titular town sheriff, Joe Cross, played by Joaquin Phoenix, and the town mayor, Ted Garcia, played by Pedro Pascal. With the film gracefully taking place during the COVID pandemic, naturally Cross and Garcia are in constant disagreement about masks. Having enough of Garcia, Cross decides to run against him in the upcoming mayoral race, but between the newly formed George Floyd protest and trouble with his wife, Cross starts drowning in negative discourse.
Despite having the most tired and tedious first act, the film evolves into a modern western in the second act. One of our characters, who I won’t spoil despite my distaste for this film, commits a heinous crime and spends his days trying to be one step ahead of the law. I soon found myself humming Johnny Cash’s God’s Gonna Cut You Down, as I was rooting for the long arm of the law to righteously dispense some justice. Unsurprisingly, though, the film swerves back into the incoherent ramblings from your Grandfather drunk off Fox News, as the third act consists of George Soros funded mercenaries invading the town. Eddington had the potential to evolve the modern western, focused on a character trying to out run the law equipped with cellphones and social media. However, it is too bogged down in all the political rhetoric that ruined many of Thanksgivings dinners. I hope A24 thinks twice before allowing Ari Aster to have complete creative control and carte blanche.
Final Destination (2000)
Having come hot off the heels of Final Destination Bloodlines, the opportunity arose to watch the original film that started it all: Final Destination. The film revolves around Alex, played by Devon Sawa, who gets the ability to see the Rube Goldberg machine that Death puts into place to claim people’s lives. Using this ability to save himself and a handful of his classmates from a tragic plane crash, Alex becomes haunted by the realization that he’s cheated death, and death won’t let him get away unscathed. Similar to Bloodlines, our hero must learn that nobody can avoid the Grim Reaper when their number is called, and you can’t let death control how you walk through life. The film, overall, feels like it’s laying the groundwork for the later films. The deaths are serviceable, but I can picture future films pushing the envelope. I struggle to think of most of the kills in this original film, yet the MRI scene from Bloodlines is still fresh in my mind. Still, the characters and story are solid enough for me to recommend if you are just getting into the series as I was.
Ghostbusters (1984)
REJOICE, MY FOLLOWERS!!! I have found the secret to why modern day Ghostbusters films are so atrociously bad. It’s because they are simply not funny. I am sure the executive producers are ready to hurl tomatoes at my head crying out, we have humor in our movies. NAY, I would fire back!!! You have Marvel-style quips so you can tell investors that you are serving the comedy markets and leaving comedy fans to rot. Modern day Ghostbusters want to be paranormal action films, while the original was a comedy about those taking the paranormal seriously. I say this with all the love in my heart for the original Ghostbusters, Stantz and Spengler were dweebs and Venkman is just a con artist. These characters were never meant to be lorded as action heroes. Everything in the 1984 Ghostbusters is played for laughs, and the fact Ghostbusters lore is taken so seriously, is the biggest joke of them all. The main villain turning into an overinflated marshmallow man IS A JOKE, NOT AN INDICATION OF THEIR POWER LEVEL.
If Sony seriously wants a return on their investment, then focus on making Ghostbusters a comedy and not a Marvel movie.
The Fantastic Four: First Step
My loyal followers, I feel as though I am losing my mind. Two superhero films in one month that are suffocating under the weight of their cinematic universes. Yes, The Fantastic Four: First Step didn’t try to pull in other Marvel heroes as Superman did, but the idea that this film can simply exist in a vacuum is naive. With the exception of poor Ben, everyone was given character traits that a series could explore. I felt the film was teasing a reveal of The Maker with how much they leaned into Reed’s ability to overthink things; I didn’t even mind the Pedro Pascal Mr. Fantastic casting by the end. However, this might not ever happen because Disney and Marvel are too eager to get back to Endgame money. There has yet to be a hero that’s gotten a trilogy since Endgame. Marvel is committing the same mistakes that Warner Brothers made in the 2010. Quite frankly, I am more interested in a Fantastic Four 2 than I am Avengers: Doomsday, but at this rate, I am not sure Marvel is interested in giving us one.
Oh, Mr. Ebon Moss-Bachrach, I enjoyed your performance, but do you think you can use a little bit more of your chest when you give the Clobbering Time line?
