October. My favorite month.
Good Boy
Dog lovers, take heed. While the rumors are correct that the dog does not die in Good Boy, a fate worse than his own death awaits our canine companion. For those with the fortitude to heed the tale Good Boy tells, you will find a film about a boy and his dog going to live in a house where the boy’s grandfather recently passed away. You will find our star Indy staring at corners in a fashion that pet owners will recognize. The film expertly captures that moment when a chill races down your spine as you watch your pet stare intently at a wall as if a spirit were standing in the room. Good Boy might not be the most bone-chilling movie I have on offer today, but the hairs on your neck will still stand at attention, and the tears will race down your face with the film’s ending. Good Boy is certainly not for the faint of heart.
Corpse Bride (2005)
Continuing the trend of tragic tales this October month, we have Tim Burton’s Corpse Bride. For those unfamiliar, Corpse Bride is the quirky tale about a young man who accidentally proposes to a woman who was murdered hundreds of years ago. She takes him to live with her in the land of the dead, while he struggles to find his way back home. Those familiar with the signature quirks of Tim Burton’s works will instantly know if Corpse Bride is a film for them. As someone who is always charmed by Burton’s gothic leanings, I found this to be one of Burton’s most heart-wrenching affairs. The Bride simply wants to find love, and between being used by her murderer and the simple misunderstanding with the young man, she is constantly left mending a broken heart. It’s enough to make a heartless vagabond like myself shed a tear.
Bone Lake
GATHER ROUND, ALL YE LOVERS OF MURDER MYSTERIES AND CRIME PODCASTS, FOR I HAVE A FILM FOR YOU. I present to you Bone Lake, a film about a couple, Will and Sage, whose romantic weekend getaway is upended when they learn their Airbnb was double booked. The two agree to share the Airbnb with the mysterious Will and Cin, which leads to their relationship being tested as a game of erotic cat and mouse unfolds between the four. The acting is solid, there are playful camera tricks, and there are some gruesome and bloody kills at the end. Yet I am left unsatisfied, not through the fault of the movie itself. These psychological thrillers, such as Shutter Island or Heretic, always leave me wanting more. I feel as if they dance along the line of being horror but never fully commit to being haunting or truly terrifying. Bone Lake, in this metaphor, playfully walks up to this line and performs a striptease. A well-performed striptease, but I am looking for a different kind of heart-pounding experience, if you know what I mean. I confess, I might not actively seek this one out for a rewatch, but if psychological thrillers are your cup of tea, do not skip this one.
Good Fortune
Heed your torches and pitchforks, my loyal followers. I know October is a time for jack-o’-lanterns, ghouls, and scary movies, but I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to see the comedy Good Fortune. A film revolving around Gabriel, an angel played by Keanu Reeves, who is a bit unhappy in his role as an angel who prevents texting-and-driving accidents. Hoping to prove himself to his superiors, he gives Arj, a down-on-his-luck gig worker played by Aziz Ansari, an opportunity to trade lives with his ex-boss Jeff, played by Seth Rogan, so Arj can learn that money doesn’t always solve your problems. Unfortunately for Gabriel, Arj learns that even though money didn’t help him with his relationships, it did relieve him of the stressful life of a gig worker and is unwilling to trade places with Jeff. Gabriel is immediately demoted from an angel to a human, and chaos ensues.
The laughter continues through the film as both Rogan and Ansari are in their natural comedic element, yet the real scene stealer is Reeves as the innocent Gabriel. Watching the naive and pure nature of Reeves’s Gabriel, thrust into a cold, unfeeling world, felt like casting genius; his infamous line, “That money should be for milkshakes and chicken nuggies,” had me in stitches. The film’s humor is obviously the star of the show, but I think the underlying message will resonate with audience members.
The film stakes its claim firmly in the “money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you comfort” camp. Watching Jeff, the tech CEO, struggle to scrape together enough money to find somewhere to live feels in line with all those videos of millionaires trying and failing to show themselves regaining their riches. Even in the end, Jeff goes back to his company and starts advocating for the workers. You can certainly feel the film tapping the shoulders of the wealthy and powerful and asking them what they plan to do about the Uber drivers who have to live in their cars. I take heed that one day those leaders will listen; I certainly hope it is soon.
Puppet Combo’s Night Shift
MY LOYAL FOLLOWERS, you know me as someone who always advocates for creatives breaking out of their comfort zones and taking swings at new projects. Unfortunately, I must be honest when those swings are giant whiffs, and indie game developer Puppet Combo’s movie, Night Shift, just didn’t do it for me. The film is an adaptation of his game with the same name, where you work at a night shift at a gas station and are terrorized by masked killers. With the game having a bare premise of a story, Puppet Combo did write a script surrounding Debra, the titular night shift worker. Both she and her coworker Johnny are well written, but so many of the events of the film feel random and inorganic. There are three different slasher characters, and none of them seem connected to each other in any way.
I am sure many will argue that the film is staying true to the game, and that’s enough for them. I would immediately counter with, if you wanted an authentic Puppet Combo experience, then why not pick one of his games with a more fleshed-out story? Why not adapt Stay Out of the House or Bloodwash (yes, I know he only published this one), as both games have a more cohesive story than Night Shift. Overall, Night Shift feels like a slasher film, a genre that I already find quite stale with the formulaic running and hiding, throwing anything at the wall to see what sticks. Maybe slasher fans will find something here, but frankly you have to do something unique with the formula, like Heart Eyes or In a Violent Nature, to catch my eye.
Young Frankenstein (1974)
I must confess, I am not sure Young Frankenstein is worth getting atop my soapbox to rant about. Do not take my lack of words as my disapproval of the film. I just feel like everything I could say about Young Frankenstein, I said about Spaceballs mere weeks ago. Similar to Spaceballs, Young Frankenstein is a slapstick parody of Mary Shelley’s famous novel. At first, the film tries to separate itself from the novel by starring Gene Wilder as Frederick Frankenstein instead of his late grandfather Victor. However, after Frederick is invited to his grandfather’s old home in Transylvania and discovers his grandfather’s long-lost journals, he begins down a path of reanimating the dead, similar to the novel. The main separation between the novel Frankenstein and Young Frankenstein is the slapstick, comical nature of the film. From making the monster do a tap dancing show to all the jokes made at the assistant Igor’s expense to Abby Normal’s brain being put in the monster, there is nothing Young Frankenstein won’t poke fun at. Despite the laundry list of Frankenstein parodies the internet has graced us with, I think Young Frankenstein, despite its age, still remains one of the best versions. It is definitely worth checking out after witnessing del Toro’s version of the same story.
Black Phone 2
HEAR YE!!! HEAR YE!!! My loyal followers, I do confess I was indeed excited to see what horrors awaited in Black Phone 2. To see the series shift from the Grabber being an ordinary kidnapper to a demon fully embracing the same mystical powers that assisted Finney in his escape seemed like a stroke of genius. With the exception of Pennywise, the space where slashers harnessing dream-like powers had been was left vacant with the absence of Freddy Kruger. I salivated over all the mind-bending kills Ethan Hawke’s Grabber could perform now that he had shuffled off his mortal coil. Yet once again, I was left completely unsatisfied.
The film revolves around Finn and his sister Gwen venturing to a winter camp known as Alpine Lake after Gwen had multiple dreams involving a black phone and three dead boys. They soon learn that the Grabber was a counselor at the camp, he killed three boys, and their undiscovered bodies allow the Grabber to torment Gwen in her dreams. Perfect, a threat established with an ever-present ticking clock playing in the background. Unfortunately, The Grabber frequently feels sidelined so both Finn and Gwen can each have their own long-winded exposition on their trauma. Finn is still shaken from the events of the first film, but Gwen is haunted by the death of their mother. A detail that I struggle to remember if it was even mentioned in the first film.
Now, I am not saying the Black Phone series has no right to be exploring trauma; I think exploring these themes would be a great reprieve from Hawke’s best Freddy Kruger impression. I just think the balance is off in this film. Honestly, I think the film would have been better if it focused on Finn’s PTSD and the Grabber’s newfound powers and saved Gwen’s storyline for a potential third installment. As Black Phone 2 currently stands, there were too many moments where I wished these speeches about pain and loss were interrupted by Ethan Hawke attacking them with his hockey stick. It is a sequel whose eyes are bigger than its own stomach, loaded up its tray with too many ideas, and is unable to balance the horror and the drama of it all.
Barbarian (2022)
Zach Cregger, can we talk? I stand before you, a humble vagabond, wanting to love your films but feeling unable to. Having rewatched Barbarian, I was left with a sour taste in my mouth. I believe I am recognizing some patterns in your work that I don’t think are working out as well as you had hoped. Between Barbarian and Weapons, you really love switching which character the story is following: the POV character, as the film nerds have decreed. I’ll confess this trick worked out much better in Weapons than it did here. You had me all invested in Tess’s story, sitting on the edge of my seat, hoping she makes it out alive. Then, with a snap of your fingers, we switch to AJ, a Hollywood actor who is purposefully unlikable. I can recognize AJ’s importance to the story, but the immediate shift completely took me out of the film. I also wish you had shown us the monstrous deeds that Frank did rather than have a fellow vagabond explain it, but you had planned to until some executive or producer stepped in and felt it would be “too risky” to show the details. Despite my criticisms, I am genuinely excited about your Resident Evil film, as I believe that the franchise will allow you to play to your strengths. Certainly, continue to celebrate your success, but I ask you to keep honing your craft and don’t rest on your laurels.
Queens of the Dead
REJOICE, fans of the horror comedy. No longer are you forced to rewatch Scream, Scary Movies, or Tucker and Dale vs Evil for the millionth time. I present to you a new entry into the horror comedy genre, Queens of the Dead. On the eve of a giant club party, New York falls under siege from a zombie apocalypse, forcing drag queens and club dancers to band together against the undead. While appearing to be RuPaul’s Drag Race crossed with Zombieland on the surface, there was some strong character work that ultimately pulled me in, just like all those scenes of zombies dragging someone down a darkened hallway. Experiencing stage fright and self-doubt, ex-drag queen Sam must learn to accept who he is even when hordes of undead are screaming in his face. I also appreciate the film’s use of Barry, the one straight character; I half expected him to be the first one killed off as a twist on horror movie tropes. However, they use Barry as a POV for those unfamiliar with drag or LGBT culture, which I appreciated. Don’t let the queer-coated nature of this film steer you away; it’s a goofy, bloody fun time that anyone can enjoy.
Dream Eater
My loyal followers, I’ll confess, I had high hopes for this one. A found footage horror film based on a couple trying to discover why one of them is sleepwalking in the middle of the night. They go off to a remote cabin and set up cameras everywhere to record the sleepwalker’s activity. With a hint that some cosmic elements were at play, I naturally took the bait. Unfortunately, this film takes a bit too long to get going and commits the most cardinal sin of found footage horror: shaky cam. In the film’s defense, this cardinal sin is only committed once, as the rest of the cameras are mounted throughout the cabin. It happens right after Mallory is jump-scared by her naked sleepwalking boyfriend, Alex, so we aren’t really missing anything. However, it is a tired trope of the genre to have the camera looking at the snow while Mallory runs for her life. The story has some solid bones, but the meat and potatoes of the film are just not here, as most of the film doesn’t build to anything. Even the film’s climax didn’t spark anything for me, the most avid cosmic horror fan. Dream Eater really needed a scene where everything is turned up to eleven, and in its current standing, it’s soft chanting to an eldritch god.
Vincent Must Die (2023)
I PROFESS TO YOU, MY LOYALEST OF FOLLOWERS, COVID-19 WAS THE WORST THING TO HAPPEN TO HORROR MOVIES. From now until the end of time, I will have to sit through films with clumsy metaphors for the days when we had to shelter in place and wear masks wherever we went. I find it all… exhausting. Yet, I will admit, I wasn’t completely turned off by the COVID metaphor Vincent Must Die presented to me. The premise of this film revolves around the titular Vincent developing a condition that causes people around him to violently attack him. There is some solid tension work as Vincent navigates crowded streets, unsure who will lash out and who will peacefully walk by. Finally, after Vincent defends himself from a pair of children who attack him, he decides to isolate himself in the countryside. Thus making the metaphor clear to everyone.
Even though I don’t love the metaphor the film was operating off, it wasn’t what ultimately soured me on the movie. Partway through the movie, I began noticing the vocals and the actor’s lips weren’t matching up. Confused on why there was a spaghetti western in my horror film, I took to Google to investigate. I soon learned the film was a French film, and the Western distributor, XYZ Films, had used AI to create an English dub. My apathy for the film immediately turned into rage. If you are not going to do an English dub with human actors, then just give me the French version with English subtitles. DO NOT DARE INSULT ME BY DEFACING YOUR MOVIE WITH AI SLOP.
If you are interested in Vincent Must Die, please watch the original French with English subtitles. Though I must confess, the movie does fall apart with a messy third act. Add in my AI spaghetti western experience, and I struggle to see myself returning to the film. Through no fault of the creatives involved, which is such a shame.
Hallow Road
My loyal followers, while October has had its share of hits and misses, I have been waiting for a horror movie that truly rocks me to my core. Something that isn’t filled with jump scares, but horrors that reflect the rot of society. To all of you, I present Hallow Road: a story about two parents racing to reach their daughter, who recently hit a little girl with her car on the titular Hallow Road. The movie that looks parents square in the face and asks, how far will you go to protect your child? In typical Doomsayer fashion, I am being vague on details because I believe you should watch this film knowing as little as possible. All you need to know is this might be my favorite horror film from this October month.
Shelby Oaks
HEAR YE!!! HEAR YE!!! As I walked into the theater, I recalled an interview with YouTuber-turned-director Chris Stuckmann. He told the interviewer about how his new film, Shebly Oaks, was based on his relationship with his sister. Stuckmann had grown up in the Jehovah’s Witness church and was cut off from his sister after she had left the church. The metaphor soon began to sink into place as Shebly Oaks introduced its protagonist, Mia, a woman searching for her missing sister after she disappeared during the filming of a YouTube haunted house tour. After receiving some evidence involving her sister’s disappearance, she ventures to the abandoned town of Shelby Oaks. Some critics were a bit confused on why Mia foolishly went into the town alone, recalling Stuckmann leveling the same criticism in his YouTube film review videos. However, I could imagine Mia diving headfirst into Shebly Oaks was drawn from Stuckmann’s experience racing to meet his sister after learning she was still alive.
Where the metaphor falls apart is towards the end. I won’t spoil anything, but I am not sure how the end connects to Stuckmann’s experience meeting up with his long-lost sister. So much of Shebly Oaks feels so personal that I can’t imagine him not drawing from this as well. This does leave me on the fence on whether I enjoyed Shebly Oaks or not, but I do think Stuckmann has some genuine directing skills. I would love to see him take another crack at horror films in the same way the YouTube-turned-directors Danny and Michael Philippou have with Talk to Me and Bring Her Back. Keep at it, Chris; I have faith.
Psycho (1960)
MY LOYAL FOLLOWERS, I STAND BEFORE YOU BLOWN AWAY. How is it that a nearly 65-year-old film has better dialogue and tension than nearly half the films I saw this year? From start to finish, Alfred Hitchcock held my Instagram-rotted brain at full attention for a full hour and 50 minutes. There is no doubt that Psycho is a masterclass at pacing. I will confess that I don’t love the ending though. I can feel the hand of a Southern Republican senator gripping my shoulder as the twist is revealed to immediately say that this is why they need to ban all transsexuals, drag queens, and homosexuals. A statement that would warrant a swift punch in the mouth. Yet, despite the hateful rhetoric from our most vile and decaying leaders, there is no doubt without Psycho, there would be no Freddy, no Michael Myers, nor Jason Voorhees. Psycho crawled so horror movies could run, and to that I salute you, Alfred Hitchcock.